4 REASONS Y DOGS R BETTER DAN WOMEN dogs obey wen u shout @ dem dogs dont shop u can giv away ur dogs children any guy can get a good lookin dog!
2.
A prime candidate for natural de-selection.
3.
A rose by any other name still has thorns.
4.
All day I thought of you....I was at the zoo.
5.
Anybody who told you to be yourself simply couldn't have given you worse advice...
6.
Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today
7.
Are you typing with your forehead, again?
8.
As you go through life you are going to have many opportunities to keep your mouth shut. Take advantage of all of them.
9.
Brains aren't everything. In fact in your case they're nothing
10.
Calling you an idiot would be an insult to all the stupid people.
11.
Cigarette, A fire at one end, a fool at the other, and a bit of tobacco in between.
12.
Do I look like a damn people person?
13.
Don't let you mind wander - it's far too small to be let out on its own
14.
Don't piss me off! I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.
15.
Folk clap when they see you...but they clap their hands over their eyes.
16.
For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.
17.
Get a glass belly button, so when your head is real far up your butt, you can look out and see what the rest of the world is up to
18.
Get a glass belly button, so when your head is real far up your butt, you can look out and see what the rest of the world is up to.
19.
Get your mind out of the gutter - it's blocking my view.
20.
Gravity doesn't exist. Earth sucks.
21.
Haven't I seen your face before - on a police poster?
22.
Haven't I seen your face before - on a police poster? Look who's talking - I bet when you go to the zoo you have to buy two tickets: one to get in and another to get out.
23.
He campaigned to have the only Bar in his town closed. When it did, he moved away.
24.
He dips Sparrows in Peroxide and sells them as Canaries.
25.
He does the work of three men: Curly, Larry and Moe
26.
He doesn't know the meaning of the word "fear" - but then again he doesn't know the meaning of most words
27.
He fashions himself as an Insult Samurai. Insult Kamikaze is more apt.
28.
He folds his newspaper on the bus so that the guy sitting across from him has to read the news upside down.
29.
He has no equal. Everyone else is better.
30.
He who laughs last has no sense of humor.
31.
He would throw a drowning man both ends of the rope just to see the look on his face.
32.
He'll take off his jacket and put it on the seat next to him on the train, just to stop a pregnant lady from sitting down.
33.
He's running around like a chicken with its head cut off.
34.
He's so full of shit, his eyes are brown.
35.
Hey friend remember dat without stupidity there can be no wisdom & without ugliness there can be no beauty..so the world needs YOU after all!
36.
Hi there, I'm a human being! What are you?
37.
His idea of a practical joke is to go into the Home for the Blind and flatten out all the Braille.
38.
I don't know what makes you so dumb but it really works
39.
I heard that you changed your mind. So, what did you do with the diaper?
40.
I heard that you went to the haunted house and they offered you a job.
41.
I heard that you were a Ladykiller. They take one look at you and die of shock.
42.
I heard you were so cool that you began teaching remedial classes at Cucumber college.
43.
I know what sign you were born under...'RED LIGHT DISTRICT'
44.
I look at the moon, the moon is beautiful... I look at you.. I.. I'd rather look at the moon again..
45.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
46.
I think the sun shines out of your arse.
47.
I think the sun shines out of your arse. Well, you're living proof that even a turd can be polished.
48.
I'd love to ask how old you are, but unfortunately I know you can't count that high.
49.
I've seen more life in a down and out's vest.
50.
If I was as ugly as you were, I wouldn't say Hi to folk, I'd say BOO!
51.
If you can laugh at yourself, you've got a really sick sense of humor.
52.
If you put your face by a door, no one would ever come in
53.
If your face had "Welcome" written on it, it would make a perfect doormat
54.
Is that a comeback? For fuck's sake, I wipe my ass with sharper stuff than this.
55.
Is your name Maple Syrup? - Well, it damn well should be, you sap!
56.
Kind, intelligent, loving and hot. This describes everything you are not...
57.
Let's be honest with each other . . . we've both come here for the same reasons.
58.
Let's be honest with each other . . . we've both come here for the same reasons. Yes, you're right. Let's go and pull some girls.
59.
Listen, are you always this stupid or are you just making a special effort today?
60.
Look who's talking - I bet when you go to the zoo you have to buy two tickets: one to get in and another to get out.
61.
Man is the only animal that blushes - or needs to.
62.
May the horses break their harnesses trying to pull my dick out of your mother!
63.
Mother Nature is a supreme bitch.
64.
My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife, Marrying you really messed up my life...
65.
Never deprive someone of hope - it may be all they have.
66.
Never wrestle a pig. You both get dirty, and the pig likes it.
67.
Next time you shave, try standing an inch or two closer to the blade.
68.
Peanut prizes inspire monkey contestants.
69.
People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it's safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs.
70.
People like him don't just grow on trees - they swing from them
71.
Roses r red, violets r blue, Sugar is sweet, and so are u. But da roses r wilting, da violets r dead, da sugar bowl's empty and so is ur head!
72.
Save your breath...You'll need it to blow up your date.
73.
Shouldn't you have a license for being that ugly?
74.
Suicide is the most sincere form of self-criticism.
75.
Sure, I'd love to help you out...now, which way did you come in?
76.
Sure, I've seen people like you before - but I had to pay an admission...
77.
Teenagers are people who express a burning desire to be different by dressing exactly alike.
78.
Them: Here's 10p - go and tell your mum you're not coming home You: Here's a pound - go and buy yourself some breath freshener
79.
Them: I never forget a face You: Neither do I but in your case I'll make an exception
80.
There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
81.
There you go again, flushing the sweet milk of human kindness through the U-bend of cynicism.
82.
This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting
83.
This sms can only be read by someone SEXY try again again maybe you are just not sexy? one more time hey don't force it ugly!!!
84.
We have strange and wonderful relationship. You're strange and I'm wonderful.
85.
Well, they do say opposites attact...so I sincerely hope you meet somebody who is attractive, honest, intelligent, and cultured.
86.
Well, you're living proof that even a turd can be polished.
87.
When he dies, they'll bury him face down, so that he can see where he's going.
88.
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?!
89.
Why don't you freeze your teeth and give your tongue a sleigh ride?
90.
Why don't you slip into something more comfortable...like a coma.
91.
Yes, you're right. Let's go and pull some girls.
92.
You are proof that God has a sense of humor.
93.
You couldn't warn to him even if you were both cremated together.
94.
You get plenty of exercise jumping to conclusions, pushing you luck, beating around the bush, and dodging the issue.
95.
You got a face only a mother could love...unfortunately she too hates it!
96.
You should learn from your parents mistakes - try using some birth control.
97.
You started at the bottom...and it's been downhill ever since!
98.
You're about as challenging as stealing candy from a bi-polar baby in a bell-jar.
99.
You're about as much use as a Betamax videorecorder
100.
You're about as subtle as a gynecologist wearing a gas mask and a hair net.
101.
You're red shirt goes well with your eyes...
102.
You're so weak, you couldn't knock a sick whore off a shit pot.
103.
You've got the perfect weapon against muggers - yer face.
104.
Your face doesn't look like a doorstep, it looks like the door just kept going
105.
Your face is such a mess, when you practice diving why don't you make sure the pool has water in next time.
106.
Your face is such a mess, why don't you get your dog something different to chew on ?
107.
Your face is such a mess, why don't you get your dog something different to chew on ? Your face is such a mess, you should stop reading before slamming the book shut
108.
Your face is such a mess, you must stop using it to hammer in nails
109.
Your face is such a mess, you should stop reading before slamming the book shut
110.
Your face looks like you've been using it as a doorstop
111.
Your face looks like you've been using it as a doorstop Your face would not only stop a door, but also most clocks and a herd of charging buffalo
112.
Your face would not only stop a door, but also most clocks and a herd of charging buffalo
